What is happening to me?

I'm trying to document some strange things that go on around me. Also who am I?


My beard almost killed me

My beard hair started stealing my silverware and getting in the way, so I decdied to cut it off. It wasn’t happy about that so it put up a fight and almost won. I probably shouldn’t have drank that hair growth formula the other day but I was out of soda and really wanted somethig other than water. Bleh. Anyways the beard got away and I don’t know where it went. Hopefully it doesn’t come back...

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Shoe strings came apart. Huh??

My shoe strings came apart today. I’ve never seen that happen before.  I tried to put them back together but made it worse. Attempted a shoe  string transplant but forgot to put  them on my feet first. Whatever, I think I found a better way to secure them anyways.

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Broke Dimensional Barrier on my bike

Found a free bike and tried to ride it but it wasn't working. Found a steep hill instead but hill was too steep and I entered some sort of super speed mode. I don't know how I survived. Bike broke. Back to the garbage I guess. Bikes aren't for me.

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Sent to Balloon Jail

I was sent to balloon jail after I killed one of my balloon friends. I thought they were trying to kill me but they were making me a nice card for my birthday. I didn’t know balloons could do that. Maybe something to do with my birthday wish...

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Annoying Broom Stick

Need help finding loud broom stick. It walked out a few weeks ago. Very useful for household chores. Please let me know if you find it and tell it i'm sorry I put in the toilet.

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place i sleep

i'm trying to document some strange things that go on around me. Also who am i?

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